70 Years in the Making
Humble Beginnings
“No, I will just wait until the hot
water comes back on,” he said. We
shouldn’t have been surprised by this considering he spent most of his early
years getting a bath in a wash tub on the porch. The water was heated on the stove and by the
time it reached the wash tub, it was chilly.
His family grew up poor- very
poor. For Christmas they had handmade
stockings that were filled with fruit, if that.
There was never any money for presents.
They got one new pair of shoes at the beginning of every school year,
regardless of the shape they ended up in.
The house had cracks where the sun would peak through as well as the
cold. Running water and electricity were
not luxuries that were had in his kid’s younger years. One of six kids and the oldest boy, Danny
remembers picking cotton for a penny a pound and until his fingers would
bleed.
He learned early the importance of working hard in those
cotton fields especially following the death of his daddy. He was just nine years old when all the
children were called to his dad’s bedside.
Daniel (his dad) had gone blind as a result of a stroke and the
prognosis wasn’t good. As his dad passed,
daddy said “I knew that I was now the man of the house and had to help provide.” As a result of feeling responsible, all he
wanted to do was work. He had no
interest in school and although his mama tried her best to change his mind, he
felt he could do more for his family with his hands. The minute he could drop out and earn a
living, that’s exactly what he did.
The death of his daddy took a tool on his mama. She was never the same after that, but then
how could she be?! She didn’t have
much and was left to raise six children by herself. The grief sent her into early menopause and
Alzheimer’s quickly followed. By the
time daddy had turned twenty-four, he had already buried his mama too.
Semper Fi
Limited education and the draft happening all around, daddy
volunteered to enter the military. When
asked why he chose the Marine Corps, daddy said, “I wanted to be the best. The ones they put on the front lines.” The Marines was a perfect fit for him. Any imperfection they saw, they would work it
out of you. For example, he had acne and
they gave him a skin regimen of scrubbing his face with rubbing alcohol. He said, “it burned like the devil, but my
acne was gone.” Daddy became an ideal cadet for the Marines and played ball but what
he really wanted was to serve his country in war. He would ask when his squadron would get deployed,
but his lieutenant would always request for daddy and another Marine buddy to
be held back. The lieutenant told him
they were grooming him for bigger things and his work, where he was stationed,
was important. To this day, I think
daddy wishes he could’ve served his country in war. But I believe God knew better than to send
him to war, because as a scout, he would have most likely never made it
back.
Daddy’s desire was to make a career out of the
military. They worked him hard and
working hard was the core of who he was.
One of the greatest values he carried, in part because of all the loss
he experienced at such a young age and in part because of the Marines, was
tested while serving in the Corps. He
was needed back home to help someone he deeply cared about, so he did what he
thought was the honorable thing and went back home. He always put family first even if it meant
giving up his dream of being a career Marine.
The Marines never left him though and aided in shaping the man he is
today.
A Strong Provider
Daddy was the ideal
employee. He was never late, worked hard
and would have to be sick or injured to miss even a day of work. He was good with his hands, could fix almost
anything and mechanic work was a natural fit.
Ryder Truck Rental worked my daddy to the bone. But it provided all of what the family needed
and most of what we wanted.
“I wanted to make sure I could give my kids all the things I
never had growing up, “Danny said. He
and my mama always came through. Every birthday, Christmas and vacation were
more than we deserved. Daddy would
volunteer to take call or work overtime to ensure we never missed out. John never missed out on a band trip or buying
an instrument and I never missed out on the latest pair of Guess jeans.
Beyond working to provide for his family, he was also the
family and friend mechanic. It didn’t matter how many hours he worked or how
tired he was, if someone asked him to check out their vehicle, daddy always
helped. There was almost always some extra car in our driveway that he was
looking at or working on.
Those years of being everyone’s mechanic took a toll on his
body. After thirty-seven and a half
years, he finally retired from Ryder Truck Rental. On his last day, we watched him clock out and
we exited Ryder as a family. I remember
feeling such pride on his retirement day.
I admired his work ethic and loyalty.
I admired all he had sacrificed for us.
There were numerous times over those thirty-seven years he had turned
down promotions because they would require him to move. He knew we didn’t’ want to move and leave
close friends so he stayed the course at Ryder.
Even in retirement, he is still known as the Mr. Fix It in
the family. My husband jokes that he can
smell when a light bulb goes out. If
something at our house breaks or tears up, Lewis will say “mama we better call
Papa because he can fix it.”
Getting Right with
God
Daddy and God weren’t always tight. He was scared into being saved as a young
boy. He recalls a preacher screaming to
him and a group of boys that “they better get right with God or they would burn
in hell.” It was not an earnest
connection with the Lord but rather a decision made solely out of fear to be
baptized. Then as he got older, I think
he probably was a little mad at God. He
experienced a hard road as a child and a significant loss and held
resentment.
We never gave up on him getting that deep connection with
God especially mama. I landed one of the
lead roles in the children’s Christmas play, A Little Christmas Lamb, and asked
daddy to please come. He came to watch,
and I saw his heart start to soften. He
came for the Christmas play and kept on coming.
He joined in on Sunday school and church fellowships. He had to miss most Wednesday nights due to work
but on Sundays, he was faithful. About a
year and a half after that initial visit, he was saved. About a year after he
was saved, he stood in front of our congregation and gave his testimony. I was in awe that this quiet and very private
man had the courage to share the gospel so boldly. But courageous was something daddy always was
and really, I shouldn’t have been surprised.
A Man of Character
Having cared for his family starting at just nine years old,
daddy is a caregiver by nature. He has
spent a great deal of his retirement taking care of others. He was a caregiver for an elderly gentleman
with no family until he passed. He has
helped take family friends to various doctor’s appointments or would just go
visit and sit with them. He’s helped move
my brother and I multiple times complete with unpacking, organizing, hanging
pictures or whatever was needed. Any
time there is any kind of crisis, he is the calm and steady.
Daddy still opens doors for my mom. He will give up a seat for a woman or small
child. He removes his hat when he walks
in a room. His manners are
impeccable. He greets everyone he meets
with a smile. He calls his sister every
week and checks in on his other sister who has Alzheimer’s. On any given Sunday, you may find him rocking
on his screened in porch talking on the phone to his best friend. They have been best friends since he was
fifteen and talk every week.
He still does all his own yard work. He keeps their car
pristine. He shares housekeeping duties
with my mama, and nothing is out of place.
Daddy has shared many times that “I never had things this nice growing
up and never dreamed I would, so I plan to take care of what I have.”
If you are wearing a military hat or uniform, daddy will
thank you for your service. If he greets you, it will always be with a big
smile. He has become quite the talker
and jokester as he ages. And if you ever
see him playing with his grandson, you will know how joyful he really is.
Daddy has never been a man that needs or requires much to be
happy. He wants my mama by his
side. A chair that rocks. A nice view of the mountains. A potato as a side with his meal (potato
chips or fries will do and even with pizza).
An Alabama football win. A cold
beer and boiled peanuts once and awhile.
And his children and grandchildren happy, healthy and safe.
My daddy is salt of the earth good. He
is self-made. His life could have taken
a very different path but his past, his loss and his pain did not define
him. He decided he would be the better
man.
I hope on his 70th birthday today, he will
celebrate every one of these seventy years, even the hard ones. All these years made him who he is – a
caregiver, a provider, a working man, a soldier, a husband, a father, a friend. And I couldn’t be prouder to be his daughter!
Happy 70th Birthday Daddy! You are good stuff!