Today is the
day. I will no longer be pregnant and
finally get to meet our little man, Lewis Max.
As I’m feeling Lewis’ kicks for the last time in my belly, my heart
swells and I feel grateful for having this experience. While the pregnancy itself wasn't without a
few challenges (first trimester or carpel tunnel anyone), it was wonderful and I’m thankful I had the chance to house our baby for these nine months. As I am set to give birth today, I want to
make sure I capture all the wonderful memories I will always cherish about this
pregnancy.
1. The love I feel for my husband. I
already loved my husband, dearly. But
something about those lines on the pee stick made me love him even more. I knew we were in this together and forever
united by this miracle. He endured three
major hormonal meltdowns of mine, was patient, loving and a doting daddy. From the first time he felt Lewis kick, or
selected classical music for Lewis to listen to or reading him Dr. Seus books –
I fell in love all over again. And he
did an amazing job of making me feel beautiful by telling me I was daily. My most favorite memories are when he would
leave to run an errand or for work, rub my belly and tell Lewis and me he loved
us. I have no doubt I have the best baby
daddy to my little boy.
2. The bump. You hear a lot of women
struggle with their growing belly because they feel, well just fat. Initially it was a difficult place to find
that acceptance. Will people know I am
pregnant or will they just think I have a beer gut? But the more I saw this as a miracle and
became grateful that a little life was growing inside me the more I embraced
it. No loose fitting clothes for this
mama. I sported the belly bump loud and
proud. It is honestly the most beautiful
I have ever felt. To future mamas –
don’t hide that belly. Show it off to
the world. It is one of the greatest
miracles God gives to women.
3. The mama community. I wasn't sure it would
ever be in the cards for me to be a mom.
I focused on my career and didn't settle down until later in life so I
felt my biological clock was always ticking.
From the moment I announced my pregnancy, moms everywhere embraced me
and started calling me mama. I am so grateful
for being surrounded by amazing and strong women who also are moms. My 810 girlfriends, wonderful parents – mine
and my husbands, Newcomers women’s group, my work besties and friends from all
over have been there every step up the way.
They have shared the good, the bad and the ugly. I have gotten great
advice and different perspectives. They
have prayed for me and with me. These
women got me through any rough patches, new mom jitters, anxiety and they've shared in my joy. For these moms – and
you know who you are – you made my pregnancy better and I will always love you
for it!
4. Facebook. Oh yes I said
Facebook. Social media gets a bad
rap. And sometimes it probably
should. It’s a time sucker, can lead to
life comparisons, be passive aggressive – y’all all know the downside. But for me Facebook was a way to share my
heart, my journey, my story with folks I care about but don’t get to see every
day. And I love that I get to share in
their journey as well. I admit that I
need people. I prefer to live my life
out loud and share (okay even over share). Facebook allows me to embrace that
part of myself. My journey has been
enriched by people all over the place and I never have to lose touch with those
relationships thanks to social media. So
I take time to scroll through my Facebook friends photos, laugh at your Elf on the Shelf antics, love seeing your children dressed up for Halloween or their
first day of school because it keeps me connected. And I over posted, took one too many pregnancy
selfies and embraced the prayers and support of so many Facebook friends during
this exciting time.
5. His movements. This I will definitely miss
the most. I admit to almost sadness that
his kicks and flutters won’t wake me up at night or surprise me throughout the
day. It makes the miracle real. It’s reassurance me that the trips to the
bathroom all night, throwing up, lack of sleep, anxiety, etc. are all worth
it. I loved lifting my shirt and
watching my entire belly bounce or ripple.
And drink a little orange juice and Lewis would throw a party in my
tummy. The best was when he would hear
his daddy play because then the dancing would begin. I know there are so many women who didn't get
to experience this for one reason or another so I know how grateful and
thankful I should be. And I am more than
any words on paper could even express.
This was the most beautiful part of my entire pregnancy.
6. My faith. This is an area I have
really grown in. I have always believed
in and loved Jesus but I haven’t always been especially close to him in the
last several years. This year definitely
changed that. It was a year of good and
bad stressors – finding out I was pregnant Mother’s Day weekend, Teddy’s cancer
and liver surgery, Stacy’s new teaching job, a move to Huntsville which meant
we were further from family, new OBGYN to guide me through pregnancy, my
company sold 2/3rds of its facilities and close friends had to find new work, a
broken promise, my best friend moved to Huntsville – it was a lot to
process. It was the most out of control
I have ever felt in my life but it was also the best. Because it is the first time, in a long time,
that I just gave up and gave it to God.
I prayed more than I ever have and clung to Him to guide me. And he showed up, not exactly how I would
have done of it (of course not right) but he was there every.single.day. The cool thing is God wanted Stacy and I
right where we are – personally and professionally - to raise Lewis. This year was preparing us for the greatest
responsibility and journey of our lives.
God did this. He made this
happen. And I can’t wait to tell Lewis
all about God’s love and grace.